Hello there.
Sitting here tonight and thinking how in heaven's name I should do with my strong performance anxiety and performance conditions.
Often when I want to play, I get so under stress by the demands and anxiety that I yell out a primal scream when I take the guitar. After that, if I'm lucky, I can play and possibly find peace in it.
I want to ask for advice but know that the job is for me to accept lower demands on me and less self-criticism.
God, how I wish it was just snapping your fingers, it was fixed. Unfortunately, it's not that simple.
Is there anyone in the community who recognize themselves in this? Partially or completely?
Desperately
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vancouverois
- Posts: 922
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:55 pm
Re: Desperately
Anxiety brings doubt and doubt brings stress then fear.
Have you tried to play simple thing with an acoustic in front of a few people?
In my case it helped to tame the fear of playing in front of an audience.
When you are at home, there is less pressure sitting and playing in front of the computer, no real audience at all.
If there is a mistake, you can record again.
We are not machines but humans and humans make mistakes "Errare humanum est" according to the Latin saying.
Even the pros make mistakes so what about amateur players like us.
There is nothing to loose as we are not pros and do not make a living of music, so no need to fear anything.
It's only a pleasure and a hobby and most importantly I DO NOT consider this as a competition.
When you say you take the guitar and suddenly you are under stress,it sounds like the instrument is your enemy (keeping in
mind there is no audience around). It reminds me like quitting smoking after years of addiction, I was so tense and so
insecure in front of the addiction that I felt bad and distressed when I was left with 3 cigs in the pack.
It was even before really stopping... I was still officially smoking but I already had addiction symptoms brought by the fear of craving.
It was this (cold turkey) fear that I learned to face and to control, I was surprised how easy it was to do it in addiction conditions.
My guess is that most people underestimate themselves and are prone to only consider the easy way, no risk, no doubt, no fear.
Have you tried to play simple thing with an acoustic in front of a few people?
In my case it helped to tame the fear of playing in front of an audience.
When you are at home, there is less pressure sitting and playing in front of the computer, no real audience at all.
If there is a mistake, you can record again.
We are not machines but humans and humans make mistakes "Errare humanum est" according to the Latin saying.
Even the pros make mistakes so what about amateur players like us.
There is nothing to loose as we are not pros and do not make a living of music, so no need to fear anything.
It's only a pleasure and a hobby and most importantly I DO NOT consider this as a competition.
When you say you take the guitar and suddenly you are under stress,it sounds like the instrument is your enemy (keeping in
mind there is no audience around). It reminds me like quitting smoking after years of addiction, I was so tense and so
insecure in front of the addiction that I felt bad and distressed when I was left with 3 cigs in the pack.
It was even before really stopping... I was still officially smoking but I already had addiction symptoms brought by the fear of craving.
It was this (cold turkey) fear that I learned to face and to control, I was surprised how easy it was to do it in addiction conditions.
My guess is that most people underestimate themselves and are prone to only consider the easy way, no risk, no doubt, no fear.
Jan 15th 2007
Re: Desperately
Cheer Up Michael, Everybody sometimes get the shivers when he had to play in an audience. Even the big ones do. Any idea why so much artist use booze and drugs?
Myself i didn't have the problems by playing in front of public. But when i want to record something on the DAW on my own i did not come in to the same flow that i need. I know that when i play on stage the public is listening to the music, in the mood of the evening. When i record they can listening the track over and over again. So we all have our doubts. When i was recording as session bass player on a Cd of an other band then mine. I could not relax I was afraid to mesh up the song ore take to much time for it (Studiotime cost a lot of money) The operator stopped the recording. He left the room and a few minutes later he was back whit two huge tins of beer. Open them and give me one. He ask me what the problem was. And i tould him that i was afraid that i don't do the work good enough.
He give me a big smile and say: That is where you go wrong Mano!, You think of it in therms of work. But that isn't right! I never ever have heard a musician say "I go work guitar, violin, piano! The say I PLAY !!. So drink your beer and lets go and play some music. 30 minutes later the 2e track was good enough.
After that experience he told me an other story about Jimi Hendrix. He was so famous that other guitar players even copied his fuckups when they covered him.
I have bee in secure for years and years. And still on this moment i hear musicians, and i know that i never will reach there level. Strange enough the think the same about me. On the age of 54 i start play again (on an acceptable level) Before i (re)start i give my self a present! I give my self the right to play like i feel, And to sound like ME and no longer struggle to sound like an other player.
Today i will give you that permission to. Nothing wrong whit what you play ore your sound. Maybe there are people that not understand your music. But Heee! Thats is there problem, Not Yours! Any body who could play an instrument know how hard is t is to learn. All the others are not in a position to have a opinion about it.
So do what you like People talk thats what they do. Don't judge your self Others will do that for you if you like it ore not.
Myself i didn't have the problems by playing in front of public. But when i want to record something on the DAW on my own i did not come in to the same flow that i need. I know that when i play on stage the public is listening to the music, in the mood of the evening. When i record they can listening the track over and over again. So we all have our doubts. When i was recording as session bass player on a Cd of an other band then mine. I could not relax I was afraid to mesh up the song ore take to much time for it (Studiotime cost a lot of money) The operator stopped the recording. He left the room and a few minutes later he was back whit two huge tins of beer. Open them and give me one. He ask me what the problem was. And i tould him that i was afraid that i don't do the work good enough.
He give me a big smile and say: That is where you go wrong Mano!, You think of it in therms of work. But that isn't right! I never ever have heard a musician say "I go work guitar, violin, piano! The say I PLAY !!. So drink your beer and lets go and play some music. 30 minutes later the 2e track was good enough.
After that experience he told me an other story about Jimi Hendrix. He was so famous that other guitar players even copied his fuckups when they covered him.
I have bee in secure for years and years. And still on this moment i hear musicians, and i know that i never will reach there level. Strange enough the think the same about me. On the age of 54 i start play again (on an acceptable level) Before i (re)start i give my self a present! I give my self the right to play like i feel, And to sound like ME and no longer struggle to sound like an other player.
Today i will give you that permission to. Nothing wrong whit what you play ore your sound. Maybe there are people that not understand your music. But Heee! Thats is there problem, Not Yours! Any body who could play an instrument know how hard is t is to learn. All the others are not in a position to have a opinion about it.
So do what you like People talk thats what they do. Don't judge your self Others will do that for you if you like it ore not.
You can't bend the rule, Every man is some womans fool
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MichaelRobinson
- Posts: 2172
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:20 pm
Re: Desperately
Sure, I recognize myself in what 12bar and Elmano writes.
The difficult thing is to drop the fear of making mistakes. Unfortunately, I grew up during the tough demands that the wrong be punished. So woe to me if I do wrong, then awaits punishment.
This sits in me like a nail in a board. Hence my self-criticism and self-punishment. It's not easy to get away from this pattern.
And 12bar. It's not the guitar that is my enemy. It is my thinking that blocks me. The moments I manage to drop all claims and be relaxed in my playing, it is quite in order.
The difficult thing is to drop the fear of making mistakes. Unfortunately, I grew up during the tough demands that the wrong be punished. So woe to me if I do wrong, then awaits punishment.
This sits in me like a nail in a board. Hence my self-criticism and self-punishment. It's not easy to get away from this pattern.
And 12bar. It's not the guitar that is my enemy. It is my thinking that blocks me. The moments I manage to drop all claims and be relaxed in my playing, it is quite in order.
Re: Desperately
Hay Michael. I found this on my facebook page and i want to share it whit you.
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You can't bend the rule, Every man is some womans fool
Re: Desperately
MichaelRobinson wrote:And 12bar. It's not the guitar that is my enemy.
I didn't have the time to write yet... But when it comes to playing for an audience I freeze, I'm unable to play, except I'm somewhere in the background
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MichaelRobinson
- Posts: 2172
- Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:20 pm
Re: Desperately
Elmano .......... You are absolutely right. The motto that you show are just right. My job is not to work without letting things flow. Letting the inner dileman and problems come and go without fighting with them for it worsens. I sincerely wish that I was not fired over the problems. It's a habit I have and only know a little of how it is to not do it. I practice to let things go. Float with the river said one voman to me. Yes please. I like to float with the river that can yield happiness which has not happened yet, unfortunately.
There is a motto which says that a healthy person wants the moon. The sick person wants to be healthy. That's what I want to be. Healthy ie.
When it come to a head, it is we humans who have expectations and demands on each other and ourselves, and the dream is that it was not so. Harmony and common accord would be much better, if I may dream freely.
Yes, 12bar. We are not machines. It is expected of us that we stress ourselves through life and trouble-free as if we were machines. It is a dilema.
There is a motto which says that a healthy person wants the moon. The sick person wants to be healthy. That's what I want to be. Healthy ie.
When it come to a head, it is we humans who have expectations and demands on each other and ourselves, and the dream is that it was not so. Harmony and common accord would be much better, if I may dream freely.
Yes, 12bar. We are not machines. It is expected of us that we stress ourselves through life and trouble-free as if we were machines. It is a dilema.