Lost Memories

[VikingBlues]

About the first time I've picked up the guitar in a week.

Been very distracted with my fathers increasing memory problems - he's very mixed up and confused - not unusual for someone in their late 80s I know but it's difficult to try reassuring someone when what you're saying is in total contradiction to how they remember things being. Also confusing talking to someone that is very together and coherent on some parts of the conversation, then so far wide of the mark on other parts. His younger brother is already in a home due to one of the types of dementia - that also gives me thoughts about where my own life is going to end of course.

So - having eventually got my head together enough to be able to try some playing last night - I immediately encountered a couple of backing tracks on the hard drive by a teacher called Nick Kellie - both these tracks (one in Cm, one in Am) were called "Memories". So given what was uppermost in my mind, and given the minor key / mournful aspect .... well, here's what found itself onto the hard drive by way of improvs. Microphone recording for a change (though a cheap dynamic mic - my Stagg mic is broken). PRS SE - compressor, CM2 drive pedal, Nano reverb and the AC4TV.

The first one I tried was the Am
download/file.php?id=1890

Couldn't help feeling this was TOO "Heart on Sleeve". Certainly a bit over the top on the pathos - sorry.

So if anyone has the will to try listening to another one .... I had a go at the Cm
download/file.php?id=1891

Maybe slightly less angst ridden?

I'd appreciate any comments and thanks to anyone who listens anyway even if they don't comment - sorry to bring a pall of gloom onto the forum, but I felt the need to speak.

Anyway - I've got to go off to work now - that's all a shambles too - financial audits still going on after a month and unresolved quesions to deal with plus a huge backlog of the normal day to day work. ANd the weather is still like winter. OH JOY.

[MichaelRobinson]

I do understand you regarding you're father. I have not seen my fathers in years so I easely understund how you feel.

The songs fits you're mood, I think. Nice.

[choucas09]

I know exactly where you're coming from vis-a-vis your Dad. I've been looking after my Mum for years now, she has Alzeihmers. Sad business. Anyway don't even think of apologising for the "doom" thing. Your playing was absolutely gorgeous on these tracks. Thoughtful and considered, the right notes and the right number of notes. Wonderful tone too. Undoubtedly some of your best playing to date. Marvelous stuff Mark.

[tytlblues]

Well VB, in the midst of the feelings about your father, and what I can only imagine the heart ache you feel.....to me, your tunes, especially the A min version sounded somewhat reassuring and calmimg. Perhaps a subconscious, everything will work out, and your musical soothing voice to your family! :)

[VikingBlues]

Thank you for your kind comments and your thoughts - very much appreciated.

I know there's much worse things I could be having to deal with. I'm sure (and I know) a number of you will be doing just that. It's life I guess - but it doesn't stop it hurting. I am truly sorry to hear what you say about your father MR, and your mother choucas.

sounded somewhat reassuring and calmimg.

Funny you should say that - my role in this situation is very much to try be be a reassuring and calmimg influence. Though on the phone (often) and in conversation rather than with music. Though it would be nice if I felt as calm and reassured myself at the time - but I think, as he knows that what he remembers is incorrect, he feels like he is going mad - so he needs a rock to lean on.

Wonderful tone too.

I was surprised at how good the tones sounded given the mic I used - a JTS NX7 - it might be billed sometimes as "similar to the Shure SM57", but I guess "similar" is quite a wide ranging definition. I was happy that I was back playing after nearly a week - maybe that helped too?

[MichaelRobinson]

VB............. Thank's for youre kindness and sympati(Swedish but I hope you can spell it better then I).

VB....It's not easy when someone close to you turn dement. I do understand that. And I do understand how it hurts you and at the sametime be steddy in mind. It's difficult.

Me and my self is a living chaos and live most of the time in my past and have difficultis not to think back and be sad and confused about the lack of genuin substans and stability in a suoranding that allso was a chaos of feelings. Nothing to hold on to and it's sad to discuver this time after time. It's more than a life crisis.

[2WheelsOfBlues]

I know what you meen

My father was a little farmer and also end up in a home, then he get alsheimer and it's very hard to talk with him.
About the music, i like the Am version more, not the playing, but it "fits" beter in the story.

[Blindboy]

VB, I can understand where you are coming from... We (my father and two little brothers) took care of our grandmother, Dad's mother, at home until she passed. She suffered from advanced alzheimers, and it was very hard... particularly on Dad. That being said, I thought that your Am piece was beautiful. Very soothing and grounding. I quite agree with Tytlblues comment on it. I hope that being able to express yourself like that helps you in a difficult situation.

[VikingBlues]

Thank you all - it helps to hear what you all say.

I'm interested to hear the general view that the Am "fits" best and has more feeling to it. I think I was worried it was "too much" but that's most likely an association of the music with the situation. Having heard them again afresh after a few days I agree with you all - the Am has more emotive pull to it and works better.

I don't know if playing these things helps, but it's probably better than bottling it up.